Connecting the Clipsal C-Bus Toolkit to a Remote C-Gate Server Over SSL/TLS

I recently spent an unreasonable amount of time getting the Clipsal C-Bus Toolkit to talk to a remote C-Gate server. What started as a straightforward "it won't connect" turned into one of the most layered debugging sessions I've had in a while. If you're running C-Gate on Linux with Java 17 and trying to connect the Windows-based C-Bus Toolkit remotely, this post might save you a weekend.